❤️ YAOI, BL, LGBT

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"Is it weird that I'm a straight guy watching BL dramas?

I’m definitely straight but I really enjoy watching asian boys love dramas, is that weird? I also enjoy watching lesbian ones, but not straight ones? I think it's because something lgbt related is more exciting, and more problems occur. No one knows about this, I'm ashamed of it."

- If you mean by “weird” whether it is unusual, then yes, it’s weird. If you mean by “weird” whether many people who found out about it would find it odd, then yes, that’s probably true. If you mean by “weird” whether there is anything wrong with it, in my opinion that’s a resounding “hell, no”.

Mainstream Westerners think watching anime at all is weird, never mind all the niche subgenres. They mostly think anime is like cartoons for kids. And that gets them all in a lather when they find out there’s anime porn. Porn for kids?! Oh, the humanity! And gay porn, too? Rocks fall, everybody dies.

I wouldn’t concern myself much with that sort of superficial judgment. I am sorry that you feel ashamed over enjoying a form of entertainment that does nobody any harm.

I think you probably put your finger directly on why you enjoy this type of drama — that happens to coincide with a lot of reasons why I enjoy it (though I am gay, which means I enjoy the actual gayness itself). But I also enjoy it because it is exciting (partly because it is forbidden), because it is inherently more dramatic than the same story with straight characters (because of all the extra obstacles), because it is transgressive, because it shows a triumph of love over adversity.

I think it might be worthwhile to dig a little deeper into exactly why you feel ashamed.

I sometimes feel ashamed too, but I am guessing we’re not ashamed for the same reasons. Let’s find out: a lot of BL is written by Japanese women for Japanese women and does not depict realistic gay relationships. BL is generally extremely gendered (despite being ostensibly about two guys), with the receptive partner, the uke, playing the feminine and submissive role, while the penetrative partner, the seme, plays the masculine and dominant role. It’s also very rapey; the uke often protests vehemently against being or doing anything gay, all the while the seme tries to convince him of his love — by forcing sex on him. To add additional power imbalance problems, the uke is also often quite a lot younger, what we would consider a minor. To our modern sensibilities this is really all quite horrible. And so I feel it’s a guilty pleasure.

Because yeah, it is still a pleasure. I have become a lot more picky over the years, and now carefully pick the few gems from an ocean of crap. The genre is also evolving, there is now a fair bit that plays on the above stereotypes and inverts them. But I’ve also come to appreciate the transgressiveness for Japanese women; they get to play with their own sexuality through BL. BL isn’t really directed at me as a gay man, and while that means it’s to some degree appropriative, I am mostly okay with that, as long as people are aware that it is that, and not realistic, and don’t expect me to perform gayness for them as some very deluded fujoshi can do. That sort of comes with the territory, because how many people do you know who get their sex education from porn, and just how realistic is that?

That’s not why you feel ashamed, right? In fact the gendered nature might be in part what attracts you; there is a lot of femininity in the standard uke (often derogatorily described as “chick with dick”), rather a lot more than there would be in most actually gay people. I don’t know whether you feel any arousal, but if so, that might be why. Or maybe you’re a tiny bit bi. Or possibly trans? Nothing wrong with either. Could be worth pondering.

What you might want to internalize though is that these are definitely not real people. They are fictional. They don’t really suffer, even if we suffer for them and “with” them through their trials and tribulations. Most humans enjoy fiction that depicts behaviour and events that we would definitely not enjoy or condone in real life; not just porn, but also the dramatic excess of soaps and “reality TV”, horror, alien encounters, or paranormal events. Many people write off fantasy as mere escapism, but there is a lot more to it psychologically. Fantasy fulfills healthy if not vital functions for most of us; it allows us to explore the world from the safety of our armchairs, poke at what scares us, what weirdly repels but also attracts us, it allows us to stretch our envelope for what we can handle with equanimity, but also feel comforted by real life in comparison, and much more.

So unless this particular pastime causes you actual problems in your real life behaviour, I don’t see anything to be ashamed of. You might want to connect with other people who share your appreciation of the genre, since alas you won’t find a lot of understanding in the mainstream.

000. od Agnese	01. O yaoi	02. Holland's coming out
04. Meet Me In Infinity	04. Stories	05.Anime
05.Manga	801 kawa ii	Cambodia
China	Hong Kong	Japan
Korea	Laos	Malaysia
Mongolia	Myanmar	Phillipines
Poland	Russia	Singapore
Spain	Taiwan	Thailand
UK	US	Vietnam
👬 chinese songs and osts	👬 Evana Hllh edits	👬 Ice Smile BL videos
👬 Klaytton Herivelto	👬 various edits

• Pobierz folder
• Zachomikuj folder